


Annum

by NancyBrown



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Extra Treat, F/M, ToT: Chocolate Box
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 08:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8365270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NancyBrown/pseuds/NancyBrown
Summary: Rob's in trouble again.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shewhoguards](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewhoguards/gifts).



Courting customs amongst the Nac Mac Feegle are strange, and this is weighed against the totality of the rest of the Feegles' strangeness; to whit, they are six inches tall, painted blue with clan tattoos, and have a tendency to headbutt full grown bulls and surprised stoats for looking at them funny. To be a Feegle is to be so far off the beaten path than one is in fact treading ocean while listening for the eerie strains of violin announcing the arrival of a new finned friend with a wide smile.

Nevertheless, Feegle courtship is stranger than all that.

Rob Anybody is in trouble. For the first time in decades, there's a new woman in the mound, and by the squint in her eye, he knows the new kelda is not to be trifled with, and never mind pudding, neither.

"Anything?" he asks the gonnagle, Jeannie's brother. Surely he has the knowing of some of this?

"Nay. I have no ro-man-ta-cle advice, Rob, and if I did, Jeannie tol' me no' to say."

Rob's shoulders slump. "If I don't do anything, I'll get the stare, Billy. You know that."

"I know, Rob." He won't be moved.

Flowers? Nah. Keldas use the herbs for the seeing and the healing. Rob's wife would take one look at a handful of posies and pop them in her cauldron.

Music? Why, Billy is the best mousepipe player they've got, and he's already said he won't be playing something to move her heart on Rob's behalf.

Sweets? He did snaffle that lovely pie the Big Wee Hag's mum set out, but the Big Wee Hag made him put it back again.

He drags his feet to the kelda's chamber. "Jeannie, my bonny love, I'm back."

"Rob," she says, nodding at him curtly. She's tired, done up with the babes already growing inside her.

He bursts into tears. "I wanted to bring ye somethin' nice! We've been married for a year today, and it's the thing to do. But I haven't found nothing."

She sighs, and pushes herself to her feet. "Rob Anybody, did ye come home more deid than usual?"

He has to check, but no. Still the regular dead in the afterlife. "No?"

"Then you've made me happy." Jeannie kisses his cheek. "It's all I want."


End file.
